So the Oscars are coming up

some of my fellow readers have asked me what my predictions are for this "big night"

very few of you know that I have boycotted the Oscars for the past few years.

it's pointless really... You see, the academy awards have lost their merit completely. So what if they have more than 5000 voters. The process really isn't that fair. Most of those voting are high-brow old age morons who haven't a clue as to what the fuss was all about when bush went attacking the Iraqis for weapons of mass destructions (which he'll soon claim are hidden under all the oil in Iraq, and all they have to do is extract all of the oil and they'll find the weapons)

anyways, these voters are biased. Of course they'll vote for their friends, or whomever bribes them best.

the truly good movies out there are chosen in film festivals like Cannes, as well as from critic's associations

not by millionaires in Hollywood

but nonetheless, you're all bound to still watch it. 4 hours of useless banter when you know that the lord of the rings is going to run away with the lot.

sure, LOTR is a good flick, but you know it'll win all the awards now because the academy will probably look at all three movies as one. That's why Jackson was snubbed the past two years. But this is a year with better films in my view than THE RETURN OF THE KING

my choice for best picture would be CITY OF GOD. But don't expect that to win because the fuckers forgot to nominate it last year, and hence nominated it this year for other awards like direction and cinematography. The damn hoochies didn't even nominate it in the foreign category. You want to see a raw movie that just runs on the power of emotion, go and watch city of god. You wanna be like every couch potato with no life and just follow others and do what they do, watch the lord of the rings and cheer them on as they win. My second choice would be Mystic River. Great ensemble cast, great direction, perfect pace, great location, and to top things off, quite the touchy subject to make a film on. Not far behind though would be 21 Grams. To me, a great movie is something that will leave you thinking about it when you go to bed that night. Both mystic river and 21 grams kept me up for days.

best actor would go to Sean Penn. Hands down, without a doubt. Only way I can explain it is for you to go and watch mystic river. If you don't buy into his acting there, just follow up that movie with 21 grams.

clearly the best actress is bound to go to Charlize Theron, who changed her looks from being on my top ten list to looking like one of the night walking hoochies on king george and 108th, behind the shell station (yeah you know what I'm talking about)
but my pick would be Keisha castle-hughes.
never heard of her? I thought so, you Hollywood brainwashed bigots. Go rent WHALE RIDER and you'll see what I'm talking about. Quite the broad range of acting from such a young person. If she has a good agent, she'll go far.

best supporting actor... hmmmm. I'd probably give it to Benicio del Toro for an unbelievable performance in 21 Grams. But the academy will probably note that "hey... he won it for traffic a few years back.... let's let someone else enjoy it" so they'll probably give it to Tim Robbins for mystic river as their way of saying "sorry for forgetting about you in past years, you want this one?"

supporting actress I would give to Marcia gay harden, no one could play the role of a confused woman, who thinks her husband is a killer so she arranges to have him killed, better than her. Enough said.

cinematography... I would have to give to seabiscuit. For that was the only excuse I could find for this movie having the ability to make me sit on the edge of my seat and cheer on a horse. For the love of Pete.

I would give the directing award to Sofia Coppola for LOST IN TRANSLATION, just like her father (Francis ford) she has mastered the art of patience when filming a scene. Very few in the world can do such a thing. The masters of course being Akira Kurosawa and Stanley Kubrick.

editing is probably the only true award I would give to lord of the rings. Following the book, it keeps the most important detail and keeps the pace going throughout.

and finally best writing would be given to LOST IN TRANSLATION, because... simply put,,,, sometimes "less is more" you don't need many words to create a great film, all you need is emotion.

but really now, no one is going to take my word for any of this, nor should you. This is just my opinion.

besides, the LOTR trilogy is quite a monument in moviemaking. It'll stick with the history of film and in everyone's minds just like THE WIZARD OF OZ.

but I'm not going to watch a 4 hour show that declared a bollywood wannabe as the best film a few years back. If these people in the academy were true film enthusiasts, they would watch films from all around the world, and then they would have realized that this "epic" is a mere ripoff of the common bollywood love story.

for those of you living under a rock for the past few years... cancel that.... MOST OF YOUR LIFE, bollywood is the movie industry in India which pops out more than twice as many movies as hollywood each year. But anyways, the typical love story goes as follows (it hasn't really changed in the past few decades):
-poor boy
-rich girl
-poor boy likes rich girl
-rich girl doesn't like poor boy
-poor boy saves rich girl's life
-rich girl falls in love with poor boy
-rich girls family doesn't approve, and besides, they already have someone else lined up for her
-poor boy and rich girl run off
-new faggot with rich family tries to find the girl and fight the poor boy
-either the poor boy or the rich girl dies, but their love is everlasting

remind you of something
that's right

titanic

that's right, I didn't type titanic in capital letters cause it doesn't deserve to be.

so if you're the type of person who watches the academy awards to see which movies you should buy on DVD that year to make you're collection appear scholarly I feel very sad for you

no one should need to see which movie wins an award to make it their favourite. There are different things that effect people in different ways. Just watch as many movies as you can and make the call yourself.

like the movie SMOKE SIGNALS for instance. Not exactly the greatest film of all time, but one of my favourites, because the final monologue struck me personally.

and on that note, I'll end this edition of the kwyjibo

follow your heart.