why do i even bother with performing good deeds.
on monday evening, my sister (the communist) called me from vancouver island, requesting that i bring the truck over to victoria on wednesday to help collect some of her belongings from her apartment to bring back home.

needless to say, i reluctantly obliged... but as timely as i am, i planned things out beforehand.

here is my itinerary that i had planned:

-leave home at 10am
-make it for the 11am ferry
-reach the island by 1245 and be at her place by 115
-pack her belongings and leave by 2pm
-make it to schwartz bay terminal by 230pm
-get on the 3pm ferry
-be home by 5 at the latest

this is what happened:
-left home at 10am
-made the 11am
woohoo things are flowin fine so on the ferry i visit the little tuckshop they have and buy me a rolling stone magazine i can read on the ferry ride over.
once i finish reading, it's time to get back in my truck and get off the ferry
-reach the island at 1230
could it be??? was i truly 15 minutes early!! wow, these overglorified bus drivers they call the bcferry guys are really gettin the job done!
-so i made it to her place at 1pm

and so the perils began

first off... she wasn't completely packed... but i thought "okay, i'm 15 minutes early anyway, and she doesn't have much stuff"
so 45 minutes go by and there's one bag left to pack into the pickup when my sister comes out with a box and then realizes.... THAT SHE'S LOCKED HERSELF OUT OF THE APARTMENT!!!

fuckin great!

so twenty minutes go by until she finally gets back into the building and gives me the final stuff to take (consisting of a blanket and a couple of pillows)

-so it's 205 and i leave
i know i know, it was only a 5 minute tardyness, not a big deal

-instead of making it to the terminal at 230 i arrive at 235, the bitch at the booth to enter takes my $40.25 with a smile on her face, and with a slight smirk says "ooohhh, you're cutting it close, you might not make the 3" to which i wished i replied "well fuck it then you ho, perhaps you could be a bit faster with producing the change from my $50 rather than scratchin your ass while consuming the 3rd twinkie from your second box, you overgrown sorry excuse for a union member"

-so i end up in lane #41 at 238
-they begin boarding at 245
-the boarding of the ferry starts at lane 37 and works until the end of lane 40
oh great... i missed the fucking ferry
or so i thought!
my lane actually began to move!
they were waving us on!
there must be some room left on the ferry!

while these joyous thoughts were bouncing in my head, lane #41 came to a halt
they had stopped the lane 5 cars in front of me
and they were motioning like an nhl referee "no goal"

FUCKIN SHIT @*($)#(WU*RIF)W(R*)(#&$&%^#*&$*&^#()@*#()*&@()#&*^_@#)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and one of the attendants reaches me, and the nerve of him....
why on earth would he......
what in the holy universe would possess him to say to me "if you came here 5 minutes sooner, you would have made it!"

-so there i am... the fifth vehicle in lane #41, having to wait for the next ferry, which doesn't arrive until 5
-two hours to kill
what to do what to do
schwartz bay isn't exactly scenic, it's alot of cement and water
can't go into the restaurant on the side, cause there's a shitload of goods in the back of the truck that i won't be able to keep an eye on

so i go to the pop machine and purchase a coke and pop back into the truck in the blazing sun and decide to read my rolling stone magazine for a second time
then i decide to cleac out the inside of the truck
then i decide to fix the tarp covering the communist belongings
then i read the rolling stone magazine a third time

-at this time i notice that it's 5pm... but something's missing
and then it hits me
WHERE'S THE BLOODY FERRY!!!!!!!!

right on the verge of screaming at the top of my lungs, the intercom in the terminal states "bcferries 5 pm sailing of THE QUEEN OF BRITISH COLUMBIA has been delayed thirty minutes, we apologize for any inconvenience"

needless to say, i board the ferry at 530
-make it to tsawassen at 7pm
-and i'm at home by 730
2 bloody hours and thirty fuckin minutes late

why does God mock me so?

i need a beer