What is, and what should never be.

There's alot going on in my head right now.

Tony was a great friend. He barely knew me when we met in the summer of '97. As I was the token "big guy" out of my friends in our brown-crew, he was the same in his.

Winter of 97 (december to be exact) I was attacked in a parkade by a group of people I had considered to be "friends." The beating lasted for about 2 minutes (although it feeled like an eternity) and involved a bat and tire-iron (luckily the latter wasn't used) but as I lay there bleeding and kicked as I was down, Tony was the only one of the crew (a block away) who began to wonder where I was and came looking for me.

If he hadn't shown up to level things out, things may have ended up worse for me. He got even with the guys a week later, enough for a judge to put him on probation.

Throughout '98 we were good friends. Went to the Symphony of Fire to pick fights on Robson street. Pretty much to see what we were capable of doing. On one incident, Tony happened to duck and a mist of mace that was directed towards him blew in my face. Yet he picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me up Robson street all the way to the skytrain station on Granville.

I don't think I ever thanked him.

When my sister went through her painful divorce, I unfortunately ran into her ex-husband and his brother in a bar. Tony, knowing who they were, pulled me aside making sure I wouldn't get into trouble, and then kicked the idiot's brother's ass in the parking lot a couple of hours later. All with a smile on his face.

Tony was great guy, just took alot of risks.

A year younger than me, his brain helped him skip a grade in school and get accepted into SFU, although he decided not to go.

He found a living in the illegal; and because of it we began to drift apart over the last 5 years.

Tony has been in a jail cell since Monday night.

He killed his older brother at a Hallowe'en party.

There's alot going on in my head right now.